I didnt keep up with this

and for that i am sry.

but here is my final.



So I am going to see how well I can piece these three questions together to write this paper, so I apologize if it seems little rough around the edges and in transitions. I would just like to start by sharing one of my journal entries (unedited, you are getting to read what came from my mind to my paper). My most inner feelings and thoughts, the things that I hurt to say out loud, as I in low times find it hard to see my heavenly fathers love for me, even thought I know that he does in fact love me. I do promise that there is a lesson in it; I had to at least talk myself into the lesson.


Section 77-81

I am working on myself.

I am trying to grow.

I know there are still some things that are holding me back.

Life gets hard. No one said it would be easy, but that it would be worth it.

I struggle.

More then I should.

I read my scriptures for class and I write all these thoughts and feelings that I have about what I read.

But I can’t help but feel hypocritical in some of the things.

I am not perfect.

I worry about if I can ever be good enough to receive these blessings.

I doubt myself.

Sometimes I even look in the mirror and tell myself how much I hate me. Tell myself that I am in fact worthless and the only good any guy will ever see in me is to be used. It is like I have fallen down too low to even get back up again, to low for help.

D&C 78:7 "For if you will that I give unto you a place in the celestial world, you must prepare yourselves by doing the things which I have commanded you and required of you"

Easier said than done.

I have faith in the Lord; I just don’t have faith or hope in myself anymore. I feel like I am just here now.

I know I am not alone. Heavenly Father is with me. But as I keep making the same mistakes over and over I am sure he is getting tired of me disobeying.

How can some someone with a testimony like mine screw up like I do?

My bishop has praised me and has thanked me for how strong I am and he can see it in my eyes. Why can't I feel thing strength when faced with things? Satan knows my weaknesses and I fall every time. It is weird because sinning doesn’t get easier for me, I can say no to anything and everything, but the one thing he can get me on every time. Satan knows us.

"Ye cannot bear all things..." said in verse 18 of the same section. I know I need him. Every hour. I struggle and I fall. And in a world that I feel so lost and cold and alone in, he is the only one I can turn to. But does he still want me to turn to him as I keep doing what I am doing? "...I will lead you along" I need him to lead me, guide me and walk beside me. I try. I go far. There are times I don’t even look back.

D&C 81:6 "And if thou are faithful unto the end thou shalt have a crown of immortallity, and eternal life in the mansions which I have prepared in the house of my father."

All I can do is try. All I can do is keep pushing and enduring to the end. Praying all the time, everywhere, pleading with my father for help, for the companionship of the Holy Ghost, the comforter, to always be with me, to help me.

From this I had to slowly see that my Heavenly Father loves me, he is showing his love to all of us in such a small way but his love is there. He is there, that is how he shows his love, he knows that in all our trials and struggles that we cannot do it all on our own, so he has told us that he is with us, that he will guide us along throughout all that we face. It is not simple to endure to the end, but we have the guidance of our Heavenly Father and the atonement of the son that can help us through all that we face, and we can endure to the end, and we will receive those blessing of love and all that we have been promised. So I know that I don’t have reference in there for the atonement, but there are lots of examples about it in the scriptures. My Heavenly Father and my brother Jesus Christ show their love for me in two ways here: through the atoning sacrifice that Christ went through and died for me so that I might be able to get back up after I fall and that they know how hard the road is and they are here for me, always, as long as I ask for it, they will help guide me through this twisted path called life.

So I am going to go out on a limb here and hope that this is an example of what you mean for restored doctrine.

I think it is so important that parents teach their kids. To be raised on the knowledge. Knowing from when you are little.



68:25 And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.

26 For this shall be a law unto the inhabitants of Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized.

27 And their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins when eight years old, and receive the laying on of the hands.

28 And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.



I am so thankful for the fact that my parents taught me. That I was able to learn and to grow in the church. I was taught from a young age that this church was true. I am so happy and thankful for the fact that my dad helped me learn and grow and become the person who I am today.

It is the faith of my father (or was, but that doesn’t matter) and when I was eight I was baptized. I was taught to pray and to be the daughter of God I am and I will continue to walk uprightly. I will teach my kids. My husband and I will teach our kids while they are younger and grow up in the church. That line sticks out is” those who do not teach their kids, it is not their kids fault, it is the parents fault and the sin is theirs.” How horrid would that be for me to be at the judgment seat and being punished because I did not teach my kids? So as the wonderful scriptures have told all of us to do, teach the children. I do believe that if the parents stop teaching the children will not be leaning and then the gospel will not be able to press on.

Gospel Principals and gospel doctrines are kind of the same thing, right? Well we do have four principals that we are taught in the scriptures, and they are important things to know and do and have so that would make it doctrine of the church right? Well in 49:12-14 it lists the thing you need to have, the first principals and ordaninces of the gospel. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, Repentance, Baptism (for the remission of sins by emersion), receive the Holy Ghost (by the laying on of hands)



It is important for them to be in this order.

How can you do the other three first without having a testimony in the Lord Jesus Christ, faith in him that he did once live and that he died for you. If you do not believe that he did die for us, that he came and lived his life and bled in the garden and died and was risen from the dead FOR US, then you really wouldn’t believe in the other steps. So Therefore, without faith in the Lord Jesus Christ then there won’t be a testimony on the rest of the doctrine of the church.



I have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ... [X]



Then there is repentance. To fully give yourself into the gospel repentance is important. You need to believe that the Lord will forgive you for all that is in your past. I can't even tell you a number of how many times that the Book of Mormon and the D&C talk about repentance and the preaching of repentance. So it follows after Faith in Christ for a reason. You can't really be baptized and not believe in the fact that you can be forgive can you? No you can't, sorry.



Repentance [X]



Third baptism by emersion for the remission of sins. Most churches do not believe in baptism by emersion, and I really wish I had more to say and explain, I know I have been taught why, But I know that it is important, like the whole body being submerged, kind of physically being washed clean of all sin.



Baptism by emersion [X]



the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

This is the baptism by fire. After you have gone though it all, having faith, repenting, getting baptized, you can now receive the Holy Ghost, the great comforter. I know I would be lost without it. It is in my everyday life guiding me to where I am supposed to be, and reminding me who I need to be.



Gift of the Holy Ghost [X]

I really do believe that without these four principals of the gospel that the work could not move on. We need them in our lives and we need to know them and how they each effect us and other around us.

We are taught in the scriptures about how hard the world is and how Satan will at all times be trying to tempt us and that we HAVE to be strong. I love the symbolism in the armor of God, how it takes those things in our lives that we need to have and be living and as we wear those we will have the protection we need to fight off temptation.

THE ARMOR OF GOD

27:15-18



15 Wherefore, lift up your hearts and rejoice, and gird up your loins, and take upon you my whole armor, that ye may be able to withstand the evil day, having done all, that ye may be able to stand.





-put on the armor and do all that you can... you have to put it all on, you just can’t try a little and have just part of the armor on, you aren’t doing all you can, if you do this you will be able to withstand Satan.

16 Stand, therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, having on the breastplate of righteousness, and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace, which I have sent mine angels to commit unto you;



-STAND UP FOR WHO YOU ARE, don't just sit there and chill out. Stand for truth, stand for righteousness, and know what you are standing for. I know there have been times that I don't fully know what I am standing up for, and people won’t buy that; you need to KNOW the gospel.

17 Taking the shield of faith wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked;



-Hold that shield up. Keep the faith that the Lord is there for you, he will protect you, and with your faith, Satan can't touch you.



18 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of my Spirit, which I will pour out upon you, and my word which I reveal unto you, and be agreed as touching all things whatsoever ye ask of me, and be faithful until I come, and ye shall be caught up, that where I am ye shall be also. Amen.



-Keep the spirit with you at all times.



When you wear the armor of God, you WILL be protected. .. But you need it ALL!

I know that as we wear the armor of God we will be protected and that we will be able to keep caring on.

Somehow I feel like the things that I have been are not what you are asking for, but in my eyes they are doctrine and they are things that we need to be following and they do effect how the church is represented and how the members show who they are and what they know. I believe they are things that we all need to know and understand. They are things that I have learned from this semester and my studying.

I believe I am down to my last doctrine that I have to share. But I want to share another reason how I know that we are loved. It is pretty much a stretch but I know that I am loved. We were given music.

25:12 for my soul delighth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.

The hymns are not just words we are singing. Hymns are testimonies. Every time I sing I am singing to my Heavenly Father. Hymns are prayers of the heart, and are treated as so by Heavenly Father. There have been times of me laying in bed and I am just singing my prayer instead of talking it. Heavenly Father loves music; he is the one who gave it to us. He doesn't care if you are good or bad, he doesn't, and it is the message that is being sent. Are you singing praises to him? Or are you singing the things of the world? That is what you have to pay attention to. I could go on for HOURS on my testimony on music. But for now just know that music was given to us by Heavenly Father, he commanded Emma to make the first hymn book that we might sing unto him. And again, he doesn't care how we sound as long as it is a song from the heart, our testimony that we know the words we are singing are true.

So going through my journal I found what I needed for this last one, and relating the end to the start.

Section 17-19

These sections had two major themes but one that really hit home for me. The atonement and trusting in the Lord.



17:2 and it is by your faith that you shall obtain a view of them.



Praying with true intent and hoping and having faith that the Lord’s help is one of the most important things that we always have to remember that we need to do.



18: 4 for in them are all things written concerning the foundation of my church, my gospel, and my rock. 5 Wherefore, if you shall build up my church, upon the foundation of my gospel and my rock, the gates of hell shall not prevail against you. 6 Behold, the world is ripening in iniquity; and it must needs be that the children of men are stirred up unto repentance, both the Gentiles and also the house of Israel.



His rock is my salvation. Trusting upon his words what I have to live for. I need him every hours of my life in all that I do. As I build my faith upon his rock, his gospel, I will feel his strength to overcome everything that I am faced with in my life. To always remember that he has atoned for me, that I will always though my faith I have a way back to him.



He went through so much for me.



19:20 Wherefore, I command you again to repent, lest I humble you with my almighty power; and that you confess your sins, lest you suffer these punishments of which I have spoken



He came to this earth and suffered ALL things. Suffered everything for me. Every pain that I have felt, every mistake that I have made, he went through it, one drop of blood for each of my deeds, thoughts, words, actions, things. The fact that he suffered and bleed and died FOR ME, that I might be able to come to the world and make mistakes and be forgiven for them. He made it possible that I can return to live with my Heavenly Father again when my life here is done AS LONG AS I follow the commandments and be who he wants me to be AND to use the atonement. My life is known, every mistake, they know I am going to make, BUT it is up to ME to use the atonement, to ask for the help, Heavenly Father wants to forgive me, I just need to take what he has given me and ASK for the forgiveness. Sometimes I feel like I use it to much but at the same time, I know that he wants me to.

Remember to pray. And how to pray. Remember to always go to Heavenly Father.

19:28 and again, I command thee that thou shalt pray vocally as well as in thy heart; yea, before the world as well as in secret, in public as well as in private. 38 Pray always, and I will pour out my Spirit upon you, and great shall be your blessing.



He wants to hear from us. Open your heart and pray. In public (as in church or dinner or something like that) AND in private (your personal prayers) I remember sitting in church and being asked who wants blessings, we would all raise our hands and then they would call on one of us to say the prayer.

My prayers, I thanks the Lord first for everything, pour out my heart in gratitude to my Lord, Then I will ask for forgiveness for mistakes that I have made, thoughts, actions, words, deeds, pled for forgiveness. After that I will ask the Lord for blessings for others, and then for myself. I try not to be a repeat prayer. I talk to the Lord like he was there with me. Tell him about my day and how wonderful it was, and how I struggled and my hopes and fears. I don't know what I would do without the strength I get from my Heavenly Father.

We are commanded to pray, we are commanded to repent, we have been given the atonement, we have been given the scriptures: all this shows the love that our father and our brother have for us, all are things we need to read and know and practice in our lives because they gave us this doctrine to help us, to help the church, and to give us the strength to keep pressing forward.

This semester I have learned and grown so much. I am so grateful for all the wonderful commandments and doctrines that we have, it might make life harder but I know that it is worth is. I know that the church is true and that the Doctrine and Convents is direct revelation from our Heavenly Father to Joseph Smith. I am grateful that I am loved enough that he has given me such great knowledge and responsibility to spread the word to all people.