I am working on myself.
I am trying to grow.
I know there are still somethings that are holding me back.
Life gets hard. No one said it would be easy, but that it would be worth it.
I struggle.
More then I should.
I read my scriptures for class and I write all these thoughts and feelings that I have about what I read.
But I cant help but feel hypocritical in some of the things.
I am not perfect.
I worry about if I can ever be good enough to recive these blessings.
I doubt myself.
Sometimes I even look in the mirror and tell myself how much I hate me. Tell myself that I am in fact worthless and the only good any guy will ever see in me is to be used. It is like I have fallen down too low to even get back up again, to low for help.
D&C 78:7 "For if you will that I give unto you a place in the celestial world, you must prepare youselves by doing the things which I have commanded you and required of you"
Easier said then done.
I have faith in the Lord, I just dont have faith or hope in myself anymore. I feel like I am just here now.
I know I am not alone. Heavenly Father is with me. But as I keep making the same mistakes over and over I am sure he is getting tired of me disobeying.
How can some someone with a testimony like mine screw up like I do.
My bishop has praised me and has thanked me for how strong I am and he can see it in my eyes. Why can't I feel thing strength when faced with things. Satan knows my weaknesses and I fall every time. It is werid becuase sinning doesnt get easier for me, I can say no to anything and everything, but the one thing he can get me on every time. Satan knows us.
"Ye cannot bear all things..." said in vers 18 of the same section. I know I need him. Every hour. I struggle and I fall. And in a world that I feel so lost and cold and alone in, he is the only one I can turn to. But does he still want me to turn to him as I keep doing what I am doing? "...I will lead you along" I need him to lead me, guid me and walk beside me. I try. I go far. There are times I dont even look back.
D&C 81:6 "And if thou are faithful unto the end thou shalt have a crown of immortallity, and eaternal life in the mansions which I have prepared in the house of my father."
All I can do is try. All I can do is keep pusing and enduring to the end. Praying all the time, everywhere, pleeding with my father for help, for the compaionship of the Holy Ghost, the comforter, to always be with me, to help me.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Section 76
So I totally forgot to do my homework. Not going to lie. I know I am lame.
Since I need to get to bed I will tell you about it.
In this section it talked about the 3 kingdoms of glory.
It gets me thinking, and I could go on about this, and I think I might have to come back and write more on it, but what happens if I don't get into the higest kingdom. My goal is celestuial glory, but what if I don't end up there. It is one of the scariest things that I have to think about. You read what people go to the other kingdoms and think about spending an eternity with them.
I'm sorry, but it really gets me worked up, and I know I shouldn't be scared, but I am.
Since I need to get to bed I will tell you about it.
In this section it talked about the 3 kingdoms of glory.
It gets me thinking, and I could go on about this, and I think I might have to come back and write more on it, but what happens if I don't get into the higest kingdom. My goal is celestuial glory, but what if I don't end up there. It is one of the scariest things that I have to think about. You read what people go to the other kingdoms and think about spending an eternity with them.
I'm sorry, but it really gets me worked up, and I know I shouldn't be scared, but I am.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Section 75
So I read the wrong sections last time. This time it was supposed to be 73-75. I am so sick right now. My head is killing me and the room is spinning.
So I wrote stuff for the writing last time so I am going to call that good.
I know that the church is true. I have such a testimony that no one can tell take away from me.
I am sry this isnt much of a post, but I will stand in rightousness and endure to the end, and the reward will be eternal life.
So I wrote stuff for the writing last time so I am going to call that good.
I know that the church is true. I have such a testimony that no one can tell take away from me.
I am sry this isnt much of a post, but I will stand in rightousness and endure to the end, and the reward will be eternal life.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sections 65-74
The thing that stuck out to me the most was about parents teaching their children.
This is short but it is true.
I think it is so importent that parents teach their kids. To be raised on the knowledge. Knowing from when you are little.
68:25 And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.
26 For this shall be a law unto the inhabitants of Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized.
27 And their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins when eight years old, and receive the laying on of the hands.
28 And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.
I am so thankful for the fact that my parents taught me. That I was able to Learn and to grow in the church. I was taugh from a young age that this church was true. I am so happy and thankful for the fact that my dad helped me learn and grow and become the person who I am today.
It is the faith of my father (or was .. but that doesnt matter) and when I was eight I was baptised. I was taught to pray and to be athe daughter of God I am and I will continue to walk uprightly.
I will teach my kids. My husban and I will teach our kids while they are younger and grow up in the church.
That line sticks out, those who do not teach their kids, it is not their kids fault, it is the parents fault and the sin is theres. How horrid would that be for me to be at the judgment seat and being punished because I did not teach my kids.
I know this church is true, and Iwill bear my testimony and teach my kids and hope and pray that they will feel the same way that I do and that my heart and testimony will touch them.
This is short but it is true.
I think it is so importent that parents teach their kids. To be raised on the knowledge. Knowing from when you are little.
68:25 And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.
26 For this shall be a law unto the inhabitants of Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized.
27 And their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins when eight years old, and receive the laying on of the hands.
28 And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.
I am so thankful for the fact that my parents taught me. That I was able to Learn and to grow in the church. I was taugh from a young age that this church was true. I am so happy and thankful for the fact that my dad helped me learn and grow and become the person who I am today.
It is the faith of my father (or was .. but that doesnt matter) and when I was eight I was baptised. I was taught to pray and to be athe daughter of God I am and I will continue to walk uprightly.
I will teach my kids. My husban and I will teach our kids while they are younger and grow up in the church.
That line sticks out, those who do not teach their kids, it is not their kids fault, it is the parents fault and the sin is theres. How horrid would that be for me to be at the judgment seat and being punished because I did not teach my kids.
I know this church is true, and Iwill bear my testimony and teach my kids and hope and pray that they will feel the same way that I do and that my heart and testimony will touch them.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Sections 60-64
So Repentince and being faithful is what I got from these.
My favorite part of the sections was in 63 I think it talked about those who seek for signs. There are people who think, oh if you show me this then yea I think I can believe, "seeing is believing". But it is not.
If I had to see things to believe them then there would be a lot I don't believe. Have you ever been in a class that the teacher is teaching something and then says, this is how it is and it works, just believe me that it does. Well it is kinda that situation, do you believe your teacher, yea, it works, so yea that is true. Well, you put your faith in your teacher and believe in something that hasnt been proven. So, you cannot say that you have to see to believe.
You need to have faith nad believe in something without it having to be proved. We do not live in a world of those mericals that used to happen in the time of Christ, well, we also are a stonger generation. Those people needed those, and still I cant believe that they would have to see to believe. It is almost like those times where they didnt know it was Christ until he made it totally obvious that it was him.
Some people may call it blind faith. Some people may think I am dumb, but I do not care. I know that I am blessesd, I can see the blessings everyday in my life. I did not need a huge sign in my life saying the church is true, I just knew it and thoughout my life my testimony grows and grows and grows.
"faith is like a little seed. If planted it will grow."
The Lord wants us to believe, he wont give you a sign that it is true, you have to have faith, and you have to pray and listion for that still small voice.
I know that this church is true. I know that I can be forgiven for my sins. I know that my heavenly father is there and as long as I remain faithful I will be blessed. I will endure to the end.
My favorite part of the sections was in 63 I think it talked about those who seek for signs. There are people who think, oh if you show me this then yea I think I can believe, "seeing is believing". But it is not.
If I had to see things to believe them then there would be a lot I don't believe. Have you ever been in a class that the teacher is teaching something and then says, this is how it is and it works, just believe me that it does. Well it is kinda that situation, do you believe your teacher, yea, it works, so yea that is true. Well, you put your faith in your teacher and believe in something that hasnt been proven. So, you cannot say that you have to see to believe.
You need to have faith nad believe in something without it having to be proved. We do not live in a world of those mericals that used to happen in the time of Christ, well, we also are a stonger generation. Those people needed those, and still I cant believe that they would have to see to believe. It is almost like those times where they didnt know it was Christ until he made it totally obvious that it was him.
Some people may call it blind faith. Some people may think I am dumb, but I do not care. I know that I am blessesd, I can see the blessings everyday in my life. I did not need a huge sign in my life saying the church is true, I just knew it and thoughout my life my testimony grows and grows and grows.
"faith is like a little seed. If planted it will grow."
The Lord wants us to believe, he wont give you a sign that it is true, you have to have faith, and you have to pray and listion for that still small voice.
I know that this church is true. I know that I can be forgiven for my sins. I know that my heavenly father is there and as long as I remain faithful I will be blessed. I will endure to the end.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Sections 54-59
There was a few things that kind of hit me while reading this reading block.
The one thing that made the most effect was "be parient in tribulation" That is something that I know I am not the only one that doesnt do that good of a job in. We all have our tiralts and tribulations and Heavenly Father knows that we struggle, that doesnt mean that he doesnt love us or doesnt care. He has his own way of doing things. He never gives us anything that we cant handle. He wants us to grow and to progress in life. We always have to remember that we will get though this. There is a way out, there is always light in darkness. The reward in the end is ever lasting life. "For after triblulation come the blessings."
We are supposed to be obediant. We have the power to make our own choices, we are agent unto ourselfs.
I read these sections durring fast and testimony meeting and these words really hit me. I have my own agency. I choose for myself what I will and will not do, weather it be right or wrong. I know I have not been making the best choices in life, but I am greatful for the fact that I have been able to choose for myself how I am to go about them. "men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do as many things of their own free will, and bring to pass righteouness" I know I need to work on that. For the more active I am in doing good the less I have the temptation to do something that is wrong and that I should not be doing.
The atonement is the other part. "He who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I the Lord, Remember them no more." Heavenly Father no longer remembers. How amazing is that!! Don't let them sit there and eat you alive, but trust in the atoning grace and the love the Lord has for you.
I feel as if I am a hypocrite, I have lots to work on. I am struggling with wanting to want to work on them.
Remeber who you are. Stand tall and strong in rightenouss, and don't let the advasary bring you down, dont let the natiral man tell you who you are and that you dont have any worth and your only good for one thing.
I have a lot to work on.
One day I will take my own advice. I know Heavenly Father really is trying to teach me something here.
I know that this church is true, and I am so greatful for the atonement in my life and the blessings and joy it has brought to me in my life.
The one thing that made the most effect was "be parient in tribulation" That is something that I know I am not the only one that doesnt do that good of a job in. We all have our tiralts and tribulations and Heavenly Father knows that we struggle, that doesnt mean that he doesnt love us or doesnt care. He has his own way of doing things. He never gives us anything that we cant handle. He wants us to grow and to progress in life. We always have to remember that we will get though this. There is a way out, there is always light in darkness. The reward in the end is ever lasting life. "For after triblulation come the blessings."
We are supposed to be obediant. We have the power to make our own choices, we are agent unto ourselfs.
I read these sections durring fast and testimony meeting and these words really hit me. I have my own agency. I choose for myself what I will and will not do, weather it be right or wrong. I know I have not been making the best choices in life, but I am greatful for the fact that I have been able to choose for myself how I am to go about them. "men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do as many things of their own free will, and bring to pass righteouness" I know I need to work on that. For the more active I am in doing good the less I have the temptation to do something that is wrong and that I should not be doing.
The atonement is the other part. "He who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I the Lord, Remember them no more." Heavenly Father no longer remembers. How amazing is that!! Don't let them sit there and eat you alive, but trust in the atoning grace and the love the Lord has for you.
I feel as if I am a hypocrite, I have lots to work on. I am struggling with wanting to want to work on them.
Remeber who you are. Stand tall and strong in rightenouss, and don't let the advasary bring you down, dont let the natiral man tell you who you are and that you dont have any worth and your only good for one thing.
I have a lot to work on.
One day I will take my own advice. I know Heavenly Father really is trying to teach me something here.
I know that this church is true, and I am so greatful for the atonement in my life and the blessings and joy it has brought to me in my life.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Sections 50-53
So these sections got me thinking about a few things. Mainly that Satan is always around, that we will always have temptation. All Satan has to do is just get us a little bit, and leave the rest for the natural man to take care of. There are many people and "spirits out to decive us. We are warned to watch out for the hypocrites.
It is scary to think how badly Satan wants us to fall, and how easy it is if we re not thinking to just give into one little thing that he asks us to do. "once wont hurt" but it does, I promise, it hurts.
We always have to be on the watch for those people who want to overthrow us.
But here is what keeps me holding on or one of the things
50:5-6
5 But blessed are they who are faithful and endure, whether in life or in death, for they shall inherit eternal life.
6 But wo unto them that are deceivers and hypocrites, for, thus saith the Lord, I will bring them to judgment.
We need to build our lives on the rock of our Lord and have the strength to endure. "No one ever said it would be easy, but that is would be worth it" We all struggle and fall into temptaion that is why our Savior gave his life for us, so that we can have the atonement and get back up on our feet when we fall.
We need to CHASE the darkness away from us. There is no other way, it will stay and try to take over the light until it is gone and darkness has consumed you. Satan wont leave just because you asked him too. You have to fight it, you have to do everything opposit he says. Chase him away. Be that person that when you wake yo in the morning Satan says "Dang, she is awake"
23 And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.
24 That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.
The places we live now, here on earth, this is our home, and yet it is also the land of our enimies. Around ever courner someone is there to try to make us fail, but we cannot fall to the feet of our enimies but remeber the goal is in sight, that promise of eteral life.
So I know this is short and not very good of a entry (this is also the hw that is due friday) but there is some really good things in these sections.
I love my heavenly father. I know that I can always pray to him to give the the strength that I need to be able to face Satan and his followers and the natural man. I know that I can overcome Satan, as long as I have the spirit, he cannot touch me. I know the church is true.
It is scary to think how badly Satan wants us to fall, and how easy it is if we re not thinking to just give into one little thing that he asks us to do. "once wont hurt" but it does, I promise, it hurts.
We always have to be on the watch for those people who want to overthrow us.
But here is what keeps me holding on or one of the things
50:5-6
5 But blessed are they who are faithful and endure, whether in life or in death, for they shall inherit eternal life.
6 But wo unto them that are deceivers and hypocrites, for, thus saith the Lord, I will bring them to judgment.
We need to build our lives on the rock of our Lord and have the strength to endure. "No one ever said it would be easy, but that is would be worth it" We all struggle and fall into temptaion that is why our Savior gave his life for us, so that we can have the atonement and get back up on our feet when we fall.
We need to CHASE the darkness away from us. There is no other way, it will stay and try to take over the light until it is gone and darkness has consumed you. Satan wont leave just because you asked him too. You have to fight it, you have to do everything opposit he says. Chase him away. Be that person that when you wake yo in the morning Satan says "Dang, she is awake"
23 And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.
24 That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.
The places we live now, here on earth, this is our home, and yet it is also the land of our enimies. Around ever courner someone is there to try to make us fail, but we cannot fall to the feet of our enimies but remeber the goal is in sight, that promise of eteral life.
So I know this is short and not very good of a entry (this is also the hw that is due friday) but there is some really good things in these sections.
I love my heavenly father. I know that I can always pray to him to give the the strength that I need to be able to face Satan and his followers and the natural man. I know that I can overcome Satan, as long as I have the spirit, he cannot touch me. I know the church is true.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Sections 47-49
I feel kinda bad becuase I don't have that amzing deep thoughts for these sections. There wasn't much that jumped out for me.
But one thing that I did notice, that wont make me sound reptitive again in my postings is the forth artical of faith.
49:12-14 it lists the thing you need to have, the first principals and ordinces of the gosple. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, Repentince, Baptism (for the remission of sins by emersion), recive the Holy Ghost (by the laying on of hands)
It is importent for them to be in this order.
How can you do the other three first without having a testimony in the Lord Jesus Christ, faith in him that he did once live and that he died for you. If you do not believe that he did die for us, that he came and lived his life and blead in the garden and died and was risen from the dead FOR US, then you really wouldnt believe in the other steps. So Therefor, without faith in the Lord Jesus christ then there wont be a testimony on the rest of the docterin of the church.
I have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ .. [X]
Then there is repentince. To fully give yourself into the gosple repentince is importent. You need to believe that the Lord will forgive you for all that is in your past. I can't even tell you a number of how many times that the Book of Mormon and the D&C talk about repentince and the preching of repentince. So it follows after Faith in Christ for a reason. You can't really be baptised and not believe in the fact that you can be forgive can you ? No you can't, sorry.
Repentince [X]
Third baptism by emersion for the remission of sins. Most churchs do not believe in baptsim by emersion, and I really wish I had more to say and explain, I know I have been taught why, But I know that it is importent, like the whole body being submerged, kinda physicly being washed clean of all sin.
Baptism by embersion [X]
The laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.
This is the baptism by fire. After you have gone though it all, having faith, repenting, getting baptised, you can now recive the Holy Ghost, the great comforter. I know I would be lost without it. It is in my everyday life guiding me to where I am supposed to be, and reminding me who I need to be.
Gift of the Holy Ghost [X]
I am so sry this isnt that good of a post. Maybe I shouldn't be writing these when am really tired.
anyways. I know the church is true, and I have compleated all the steps and still try to live my life in accordince to the Lords commandments. I still continually am repenting and trying to keep the spirit with me.
I am greatful for all my many blessings and for missionary work.
I love this church and the Book of Mormon and D&C are true!
But one thing that I did notice, that wont make me sound reptitive again in my postings is the forth artical of faith.
49:12-14 it lists the thing you need to have, the first principals and ordinces of the gosple. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, Repentince, Baptism (for the remission of sins by emersion), recive the Holy Ghost (by the laying on of hands)
It is importent for them to be in this order.
How can you do the other three first without having a testimony in the Lord Jesus Christ, faith in him that he did once live and that he died for you. If you do not believe that he did die for us, that he came and lived his life and blead in the garden and died and was risen from the dead FOR US, then you really wouldnt believe in the other steps. So Therefor, without faith in the Lord Jesus christ then there wont be a testimony on the rest of the docterin of the church.
I have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ .. [X]
Then there is repentince. To fully give yourself into the gosple repentince is importent. You need to believe that the Lord will forgive you for all that is in your past. I can't even tell you a number of how many times that the Book of Mormon and the D&C talk about repentince and the preching of repentince. So it follows after Faith in Christ for a reason. You can't really be baptised and not believe in the fact that you can be forgive can you ? No you can't, sorry.
Repentince [X]
Third baptism by emersion for the remission of sins. Most churchs do not believe in baptsim by emersion, and I really wish I had more to say and explain, I know I have been taught why, But I know that it is importent, like the whole body being submerged, kinda physicly being washed clean of all sin.
Baptism by embersion [X]
The laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.
This is the baptism by fire. After you have gone though it all, having faith, repenting, getting baptised, you can now recive the Holy Ghost, the great comforter. I know I would be lost without it. It is in my everyday life guiding me to where I am supposed to be, and reminding me who I need to be.
Gift of the Holy Ghost [X]
I am so sry this isnt that good of a post. Maybe I shouldn't be writing these when am really tired.
anyways. I know the church is true, and I have compleated all the steps and still try to live my life in accordince to the Lords commandments. I still continually am repenting and trying to keep the spirit with me.
I am greatful for all my many blessings and for missionary work.
I love this church and the Book of Mormon and D&C are true!
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